Me time and oh…. the guilt

So about a month ago I was chatting to a fellow mom about time for ourselves and how hard it is to get any – and for me – especially without feeling guilty. And although she gave me some dry sensible, rational arguments for “me time” I still find it hard to take it.

After getting through what is required of me at the office – which for the past few months or so has been a 2 person job, the boys are next on my list of priorities. After that comes my husband – he is currently working a 6-7 day week and has done for the greater part of 2 years and needs a break. My week-end are usually spent as a single parent from Friday evening which is hard work (as any single parent will testify). I love spending time with my friends and socialising – being a rather social creature by nature. So in the usual 24 hour day, 7 day week where oh where is there time left for “us” (date nights are few and far between) and then finally for me? And how do I fit it in without letting something else go.

I recently started bikram yoga which I have discovered i LOVE. For those who are familiar it is a yoga form done in a warm room where you go through 26 different poses in your class – and sweat – like a bit of a piggy to be honest. But i LOVE it. I am not the most elegant or nubile in the class, am certainly the most flabby and middle aged – but somehow for that hour I don’t care. It is all about me – but so far I am only managing to carve out these little time pockets once – if lucky – twice a week. And then any other social engagements that come up make me feel bad … and adding to that I have had to travel a rather large amount for work the past 2 months, and am about to embark on another fairly busy two months. Leaving darling hubbie a single parent for a full week at worst, overnight at best.

so when I return, exhausted, because those of you who travel for work know there is NOTHING glamorous about it all – I need a bit of me time – as does hubbie who is exhausted and irate. So how do we balance it?

Time spent with my friends is like my life line – it grounds me. It helps me remember our little family dramas are not unique and everyone is on a pretty similar looking boat. I have some friends too who help me pull back and say no when I once again teeter on the edge of ver commitment – I am one of those do-ere which means I often commit to helping/organising/running things I really just don’t have time for.  So time with my friends is food for my soul – as is the occasional glass of wine!

And then of course “us” time. They say having kids can make or break a marriage and boy is there a lot of truth in that line. As the mother of these children you bring into the world, your whole world changes as does your focus. My husband is my everything – but so are my boys. I couldn’t be without any of them. But reality bites – and he or rather the “we” has plodded steadily down the food chain. Apart from every ones enemy of no time – quite frankly we don’t have the energy to go out for the evening. Staying in and vegging in front of the TV with a sandwich and a cup of tea seems perfect. And it is relaxing – but as a couple we don’t really catch up much on evenings like this.

It is a wheel that just doesn’t stop spinning — but I am determined to slow it down just a tad. Drop some of the smaller stuff and spend quality time with my boys – all 4 of them. So wish me luck as I try and get to yoga once a week, say no more, spend quality time with my boys, and embark on a date night OUT with my wonderful husband sometime soon

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